I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
