Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
