the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
