Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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