Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he shaved USA in his pubs
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
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Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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