My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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