Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
