either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she looked like the before picture.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
