Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Say something about gay babies.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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