why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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