We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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