I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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