I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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