have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
