I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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