i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
