haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
