Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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