He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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