Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
