I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She needs sedatives and a leash
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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