I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
