My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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