the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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