Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
