There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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