you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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