She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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