do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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