We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
