She's JV to your varsity
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize