He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize