Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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