once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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