If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize