It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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