I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
