maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
