I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
