my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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