I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
