Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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