I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
