Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
