check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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