Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
