We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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