Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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