I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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