bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
