Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he puts the penis in happiness.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
