Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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