Taylor Swift is so right about you.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
