I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
