so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
