ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I touched a dick in church today
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
